What Are Social Norms And How Do They Affect Our Integration Into A New Culture

If one comes to settle in a new country there are obvious social behavioural norms to follow that permit you to co-exist in a more harmonious environment. So what do we understand by social norms? Usually social norms are seen as 'customary rules of behaviour that coordinate our interactions with others' (Lewis, David. 1969. Convention: A Philosophical Study. Cambridge MA: Harvard University Press. ). So the key word for me here is interaction because we live in a society and to be integrated and engaged in it we need to understand and interact with its citizens. We need also to distinguish between norms (jumping the queue) from conventions (which side of the road to drive on) but maybe we should consider more its function. I believe the definition below captures its essence succinctly: The function of a social norm is to coordinate people's expectations in social interactions. These norms govern a wide range of phenomena, including property rights, contracts, bargains, forms of communication, and concepts of justice. Norms impose uniformity of behaviour within a given social group, but often vary substantially among groups. Over time norm shifts may occur, prompted either by changes in objective circumstances or by subjective changes in perceptions and expectations. (Social Norms H. Peyton Young Department of Economics, University of Oxford Johns Hopkins University & The Brookings Institution) The other branch of social norms as is an approach to behaviour change based on correcting a population's misperception about the prevalence of a given behaviour is not tackled here but also has its implications on behaviour in a new country/culture - http://www.normativebeliefs.org.uk We know that the British (remember that the use of the term English is not considered appropriate due to the Welsh, Irish & Scottish angle!) are very punctilious about social etiquette and many books have been written on different aspects of social norms such as table manners, punctuality, greetings etc. Adherence to these norms may be more or less prevalent depending on the socio-economic background of the person you are engaging with but certain basic rules apply to all sections of society. As a foreigner in the UK the minefield of social niceties can be a bit awesome so I believe that an integral part of any Foreign Language course should engage their students very actively and right from the beginning on how to tackle this minefield. No matter how culturally sensitive we are, we are not doing anybody a favour by not engaging them in the social norms of British society. Simple yes and no of common etiquette should be the starting point (with a good dose of humour which helps keeps people's minds focused!), before building up to a more complex and nuanced interpretation of social norms. An example of simpler exercises would be: . yawn in public / cover mouth . wait to pay in a shop / queue . meet someone for the first time / shake hands . someone blocks your way / 'excuse me' . want someone to give you something / 'please' . someone gives you something / 'thank you' . greet a good friend / kiss once on cheek . knock into someone / 'sorry' . public transport / give up seats to old and disabled people . children misbehave in public / tell them off quietly All the examples above may seem pretty straightforward and cover many aspects of 'correct' behaviour but just imagine the consequences of ignoring them. Who among us has not been on a crowded bus when a 'foreigner' has their children sprawled over 3 seats and doesn`t offer one of them up to an elderly person. No one is going to lynch that person but one is all too aware of the disapproving looks and mutterings while the poor old 'foreigner' is often blissfully unaware of the disagreeable looks - his/her first step towards increasing social isolation in the community. One incident of such an occasion is enlightening I think about how people's perceptions of each other can change by some simple prompts. In this case it was the elderly person who asked for the seat and fortunately through some hand language made herself understood. Eventually we had this lovely scene where one child was perched on the old lady's lap showing her her picture book and the old lady explaining the picture. The atmosphere palpably changed in the bus. The other two children who had found themselves nestled into their mother's lap were now offered the lap of another passenger to lighten the mother's burden. It was a wonderful example of how we all behave when we feel people are not acting according to what is considered correct social behaviour and how easily we are willing to 'forgive' antisocial behaviour when we can actively impact on it. It is clear that examples of more nuanced social norms can only really be tackled when students reach a level of English where they are able to understand why they need to use these tools to be better able to integrate into society and discuss issues and compare it to their own cultural perceptions. Let us take the example of table manners which have endless rules & etiquettes which we can all choose to ignore at our peril! So why should this form an integral part of any English language teaching course? Simple, if you show a lack of understanding of table manners you may be considered 'unreliable' at other levels. However one should also note that 'apologising for your lack of understanding of cultural norms' goes down very well among the British who are a pretty tolerant lot. Often playing out a scene of 'inappropriate behaviour' can drive home a particular idea better than just presenting the 'appropriate' behaviour and opens up more room for discussion & debate.Let's see how this video scene would work for a group of adult foreigners with intermediate level English where they are asked to point out inappropriate social behaviour: . Two people are sitting in front of each other in a restaurant, one is wearing a hat, another gloves (prompt - inappropriate or not). When the waiter approaches the table, neither makes eye contact with the waiter (prompt - inappropriate or not). First person: "I want (prompt - inappropriate or not) the pâté as a starter, followed by the main dish of roast lamb" (prompt - inappropriate or not) Make sure the lamb is not overcooked and that it is served hot and not luke- warm like last time (prompt - inappropriate or not) Second person: "I will have the soup of the day as a starter and then the chicken breasts please" (prompt - inappropriate or not) Waiter: Do you want a drink with that? (prompt - inappropriate or not) First person: What is the cheapest wine you have on your menu? (prompt - inappropriate or not) Second person: What is your house wine? (prompt - inappropriate or not) Waiter: The house wine is rubbish. Better chose something else (prompt - inappropriate or not) And so on with various permutations depending on the level of your students English. The idea of the exercise is not only to determine why something is appropriate or not but to decide what is the best alternative and there is not always one answer in English! Moreover, by just inserting a few choice words and managing the intonation of one's voice can make all the difference. Again we come back to reinforcing the idea that by understanding these social 'niceties' we only improve our chances in the workplace, in civil society (bank, supermarket, station) and on a day to day basis with our classmates, neighbours and new friends. Most people when they arrive in a new country feel isolated and this isolation will only deepen if this aspect of their behavioural engagement with others is not smoothed out right at the beginning. Often the language school is the only place that adults may actively engage in the language and so it is the teacher's absolute priority to create the sort of comfortable, engaging and relevant experience where confidence will grow and discussion will arise. It is in this environment that language is contextualised in the parameters of social 'dos' or 'don'ts'. All the above goes for our schools too and in our attempts to be politically correct and culturally sensitive we left the door open to some serious problems for which, I believe, we are now suffering the consequences, whether to do with race, gender or sexuality. If we see education as learning in the widest sense of the word, that is, giving us the tools to engage and be productive in society, then we should be pretty sure what these tools are. If we dither, fools or imposters enter to hijack the system, and it no longer becomes our discourse but one of someone with another agenda. I am of Bengali descendants, a first generation immigrant to the UK at the age of 6 but from a comfortable background where English was always the common language between my parents (who were from different parts of India and both educated, a common case in the Indian subcontinent where English is effectively the mother tongue). Having been brought up in the UK with a boarding school upbringing followed by university life in Essex (a bit of a rough diamond) and Cambridge (real ivory tower existence) and having lived abroad for over 20 years in the Iberian peninsula (Spain & Portugal) I think I am aware of the pitfalls of presuming I understand the etiquette of the country I have lived in and also see the pitfalls for foreigners who have moved to the UK. In fact I only felt more comfortable in the Iberian culture when the humour started to make sense!! And not when my attempts at the language amused those around me! Essentially for all these norms to make sense they have to be rooted in some sort of day-to-day reality and again the more 'relevant' it is, the more 'engaging' it is, the more your audience is absorbing what is being taught. In fact I am a little averse to lessons focused solely on social norms as much of this can become sterile, irrelevant or downright boring! I believe many English language classes dealing in everyday English or grammar can incorporate this element into their lessons - Please may I.....Can you please..... - All these sentences constructions can involve an element of social etiquette. The teacher has to be culturally sensitive enough to be open to their students' different perceptions; the student on the other hand has to be 'made to understand' (there is no sense of physical/mental coercion here!) the advantages of engaging in the society that he/she finds themselves in. At least, the fact that he is taking English classes may be the very first step towards that engagement so no teacher can afford to miss this opportunity. We know that most teacher training programmes nowadays are very aware of this need to be culturally sensitive which is admirable and necessary but someone, somewhere must draw the line between promotion of that society's norms and being too wary about stepping on someone's toes. The student will only be too grateful if some of the pitfalls involved in social etiquette are brought to their attention as was the case for me when I was studying Spanish for example: I was told that the English (whoops, they weren`t really into cultural sensitivity) were considered too obsequious with all their 'pleases' and 'thank yous' and that all this politeness struck them as insincere or over the top. Perceptions again although I did try to explain that most Spaniards living in England realised the importance of these words in getting what they wanted! However, I think there is a bigger problem here we have to be aware of. If people are not 'engaged' in a society, in that they don't understand or are unaware of its social mores, we will have a breakdown in civil society. There is only a short step from the above to people feeling they have no stake in the system or if they perceive that the system has failed them so why would they wish to engage in its rules and norms? Youth disaffection, strikes, occupations and even engagement in anti-social behaviour are for me examples of a breakdown in dialogue. To have a dialogue we need to find common ground and language and show respect for each other's differences. You and I can only coexist in an environment of openness if we see things between us that unite us rather than divide us. I am not saying that we let this new culture absorb us to the detriment of our own culture & history. No in fact, a richer fabric of coexistence is only possible when we respect our differences but firstly we need to understand them. This requires a mixture of tolerance, forbearance (yes that grit-your-teeth feeling!), open-mindedness and genuine engagement from both sides. What better place for this to happen than in Britain with its multicultural melting pot, its high levels of tolerance, its wonderful openness to new culinary/cultural experiences where a `please` or a `thank you` brings everyone into the same comfort zone!