To Lay Or To Lie, That Is The Question

Whenever I'd tell my Aunt Rachel I was going to lay down for a nap, she'd say, "I know you have, at times, lain down for a nap, and yesterday you lay down for a nap, but today you are going to lie down for a nap!" Sometimes, she'd correct me, "You mean lie down," or simply mutter, "Lie down," depending on her mood. There were times dear Aunt Rachel would take it upon herself to educate me. "The verb to lay takes a direct object," she would say, "so you lay something down, you lay the book on the table, and if you're a hen, you lay an egg. The egg lies, or is positioned beneath the hen, the book lies, or rests on the table, and when you take a nap you are lying, or reclining on your bed." Rachel always knew what I meant but objected to the way I said it. It offended her to hear me speak in such a manner. "You sound like some poor clod off the street, not like the educated, cultured, and well-mannered nephew I know you to be." She was, after all, the daughter of a former congressman and judge, an accomplished ballet dancer and teacher, and, above all else, my poor dead mother's highly cultured, younger sister. After too many lectures, I always tried to lay low.